If i didnt have bad luck i wouldnt have any at all!

so... did i ever mention that my fricken car was all of a sudden considered not road safe and i couldnt drive it....well it was. So i was down a car and using my boyfriends....well just my luck his got a flat and now im using my moms. Also, my computer crashed or at least it wont turn on! ugggg! Cant anything just go good for me? In my last life i must have been terrible to get all this! Sometimes ill sit and try to think of what i did that im given all this bad luck but ive never really done anything so im just gonna say sorry to everyone and maybe it will get better!
on a better note....i lost 2.4 pounds so im down 11.2 total on my weight watchers! i feel i didnt try my hardest this past week so i know i can do better and i am happy about that. I am now setting small goals for each week and writing them on a piece of paper and hanging it on my fridge and putting it my tracking book so i see it every day. This week i want to reach my 5% goal and get to 13lbs. So, i have to lose 1.8, but i am hoping to excede that!
Also, i fell i am so lucky to have my boyfriend! i dont want to brag or anything but he is really the greatest and i love him soooooo much! at times i want to strangle him but mostly he is so good to me. yesterday he called me after work and wished me luck at my metting even though he knew i would do good. right after he knew my metting was over, even though he was in school, he left class for a min to call and see what i lost. i think he is just excited as i am even though he wants my boobs to stay. i love him!
well im off to make breakfast.....*S*

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Well, first off i obviously need to blog more than once a week! So much is going through my head right now and i just want to scream!
Secondly, to all the mammas reading thank you from every one of your children to you!! I am not a mother but caring for 4 a day is so demanding, and while i love it and love being with children because they are so refreshing, some days(like today) i just wanna say....HELLLOOOO WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT?!?!?!?! I of course don't because they would probably think i am nuts but i think about it a lot. It's like every breakfast lunch and diner you ask what they want but wouldn't it be great if they said i don't know "S" what do you want? I know it has to be hard giving your whole life to your children and loving them more than you even love yourself and i give you all a lot of credit! And to my sis "R" i love ya girl and you are doing a fine job as a mother!! I guess the reason i started even thinking about this has nothing to do with kids, but my boyfriend "J". I asked him to do one thing for me last night and did he do it...uh nope! Then he comes in the door tonight and says whats for dinner? I said its in the fridge...but what i really wanted to say was i dunno what are you going to make for me?? Or whatever you make!! Wow this venting feels really good!!!
Thirdly, and on a better note i lost 1.8lbs! I made up for last week and i feel great but i really wish it would have been more! What my leader said in class today really hit home though so i am gonna try to focus on the good stuff i did through the week instead of all the bad and being so hard on myself. I can do this, i can and will lose the weight!!
And last but not least, why cant anyone ever just do something without having to be asked?!?!?! I guess i am don't ranting and raving for one night but I'm sure i will be back soon!!
*S*

Frustrated...this may get deep

-K- Here goes some more rambling! I am very upset with myself even though i shouldn't be but, i gained a pound this week! It sucks and i feel terrible. It's weird cause i feel like everyone i tell is disappointed in me. When in all actuality i should be the only one disappointed. My leader told me not to get upset cause everyone has set backs and i knew already that i was gonna have a bad week due to the housewarming party and birthday parties. She tried to make me feel better but it didn't work. She told me that my first two weeks were great and most people are lucky to lose .5 pounds in a week. Maybe i am being too hard on myself but i really want to lose weight this time and keep it off. I just have been looking at myself in the mirror a lot lately and picking at all the negative things. I lay in bed at night and wonder if my boyfriend is even attracted to me anymore. All i can think is who can ever be attracted to me...I'm disgusting...how the hell did i let myself get here??!?! I cant help but to think about what J's friends think about me and what they say behind my back, what people at restaurants think when they see me and so on. I try to stay strong and most of the time i am but lately i just feel like i need a break from that tough exterior. I am lacking my self confidence right now and wish it would come back cause right now i feel like a fat piece of shit!! Well that was depressing but i needed to get it off my chest! c-ya ~S~

Yah!!

*I have to warn all who read my blog it may be really random because i am just wrinting as i think so sorry! :)
So i had my weight watchers meeting lastnight and lost 4lbs! That makes a total of 8.8lbs in my first two weeks. I am really glad this is working and hope the pounds keep coming off like this! Even though my meeting leader reminded me that i should be happy of just losing anything each week and this is not typical(way to burst my bubble huh?) Anyway, I am happy and i have been feeling so much more energized lately.
I have been doing the Wii fit this week too and wow that is a workout. I like it because it is very entertaining and i also get a workout in. I am pretty pissed that the scale on it isnt very accurate though! I did it 3 times in a row and it gave me a different weight each time. Oh well its still fun.
I am very excited for monday because my sister is paying for me to get my hair did..lol! But seriously that is so nice and if you are reading this thanks so much! That will help me boost my confidence a lot!
By the way did i mention i have a new puppy?! Well right now he is driving me insane!! he is running in circles going nuts! Plus i just took him out togo to the bathroom and he wouldnt go and then i bring him in and he poops on the floor....helllllloooo dog thats why i just brought you outside!!!!
Well, I have to do some lesson plans for tomorrow before the munchkins wake up so im out!
*S*

Getting Started...

So, I am starting this blog for a couple of reasons. First off, I joined weight watchers on January 21st, 2009. I am overweight and i know it so i need to make some changes. When i was 15 i went on the Depo shot and gained a ton of weight, and have never been able to get it off. Although, the depo had a huge impact on my weight so did my lifestyle. I drank all the time with friends and didn't eat the healthiest. So I am tired of being overweight and want my skinny body back or at least a healthy one.
Secondly, I need a place to vent my frustrations. I do daycare at my home and i love it but some days are better than others. As, you may know with kids you never know how the day will go, and with a baby, a toddler, and two preschoolers its even harder to tell. Most days, so far anyway have been good with a couple tifts here and there, but that is expected. Two of the children are my niece "Lulu" and my nephew "macaroni", i love spending time with them and they both are great kids, but as all children they have their moments. The other two children, I'll call them "S" and "T", are a friends two children, and they too are good children. They are still trying to get adjusted to my daily routine so it has been tough but they are getting there.
And Last but not least my boyfriend, although most of the time we are good and don't fight sometimes he just really pisses me off, and I as anyone else need somewhere to spill my thoughts and feelings out. "J" and I got a house December 19th and its our first time living together. It's weird the little things you find that irritate the hell out of you isn't it.
Well, that's an overview of my life now and I am sure there will be more to come.
*S*